Chris's Magic Roundabout Run 
Chris's Magic Roundabout Run
Mystery Meets Magic Meets ... Roundabout
Tradition is a fine, fine thing, isn't it? In a world of ever increasing change, we need a few constants. They provide familiarity and reference points, and they make us feel all nice 'n snug 'n comfortable - "it's OK, I've been here before". The TVG Bikers' Section has a number of traditions, such as monthly rides on the 1st Sunday of each month, endless and merciless ribbing for all navigational errors by the ride leader, and desperate attempts to find new interesting riding routes. And, judging by our March event, we should all be feeling very very secure, because these traditions were certainly upheld in fine form .... I think.
We were certainly forewarned that our scheduled Magical Mystery tour was likely to include an amount of improvisation. What we didn't know was that, due to heightened security alerts recently issued, it had in fact been necessary to publish an entirely fictitious route, so as to confuse the enemy right from the outset. Lulling our fiendish foes (and ourselves) into a false sense of security, we set out from Loomies at West Meon on the familiar and glorious A272 towards Petersfield. But soon we diverted away from previously-ridden roads into villages we had not encountered. I would like to regale you with details of where we went, but I haven't a flaming clue! Never mind, it was fun! Then the radio started to crackle with a little tension as the route became more complex. At least I think it was tension, but it could have been giggling - was Moriarty still onto us?. No problems, our leader was on top of the situation and started to execute a clever maneouvre to confuse the enemy. After all, nobody would really expect us to forge on past the "Road Closed" sign, would they? Twice? Or go down the "No Through Road"? But it was sheer genius! 3 times in mere minutes we were able to double-back under the guise of incompetence, and establish that Johnny Enemy was not on our tail. Onlookers would not have suspected anything other than day-trippers with no sense of direction or road signs - but oh, how far from the truth, were they!
Onwards our leader intrepidly went, taking single-track roads, sometimes in decreasing concentric circles (at one point I'm sure I nearly overtook myself). Several riders tried to keep track of location and direction by the position of the sun, but our leader was wise to that tactic (in case we had an undercover operative in our midst, I guess) and led us through lanes with impenetrable tree cover wherever possible. Then we broke free and out onto recognisable roads. As soon as we confirmed that no-one was onto us, we took the first R&R stop. We rushed to congratulate the leader on his outstanding guidance, and we learnt the source of his magical and mysterious abilities - the Zumo sat-nav had crashed!
Onwards again, we spent the rest of the day exploring parts of Hampshire we had previously overlooked. Cunningly we were tricked into using every aspect of The System - blind corners, roundabouts, lanes with no centre lines, roundabouts, hidden junctions, roundabouts, blind summits, roundabouts, overtaking, roundabouts, dual carriageway ... oh and some roundabouts too! A total of some 200 miles, and all without travelling more than 25 crow miles from our starting point. Impressive or what!
But it seems our leader was worried. We had published our intention to include the traditional Morestead Road, but he clearly feared we were still being tracked, so we snuck down more country lanes, cleverly reaching the end without ever touching any part of that famed road. Not content with that, he set off cross-country again with uncompromising spirit. No way was this ride going to end like all the others. With unequalled style, a final secretive 360 degree maneouvre circling just one more roundabout brilliantly deceived the tail-end riders, just in case they were the ones covertly giving away our position.
So sleep sound tonight, we still have uncomparable leaders who can be relied on to surprise us and entertain us. Wonderful day, Chris - thank you. "Time for bed, Zebedee?" Boinggg!