The Naked Fat Controller Run

Sunday 6th July 2008

A motley crew of nine, made up of usual suspects and hangers-on, left a warm and dry Loomies at about 9:30 on Sunday morning. Stout of heart (or is that just stout) we set off in the teaming rain, down the A32 to Corhampton, with Captain Sensible at our head. Next we headed (yup you've guessed it) up the Morestead Road (hurrah!) to Winchester and then on to Wherwell and Newbury to link up with another four brave souls, who we found sheltering from the deluge in Burger King. Here we promptly availed ourselves of the warm air hand dryer and turned Burger King's floor into a swimming pool.

Once Chris 'I'm not wet' Walliker had retrieved his neck tube and gloves from their warming grill, we left Burger King, refuelled and refreshed (if soggy) and headed along the A4 towards Hungerford and then up the B4000 through Lambourn to Ashbury. Next we took the B4507 to Wantage, where Andy demonstrated his newly devised technique for straightening a corner (!). After a brief stop at a pub so that Chris 'the old boy' Walliker could 'use the facilities' (it's an age thing apparently), we took the B4494 back to Newbury followed by the B4009 to Streatley and then finally back towards Wantage for a welcome lunch at The Hare public house, just as the rain stopped. Here we enjoyed a wonderful lunch with all the trimmings including extra veg and Yorkshire puds. The food was good and the staff really friendly. Highly recommended. Normal lunchtime banter and ribaldry ensued with plenty of high spirited mickey taking especially between Chris and Tim ('the new boy').

Lunch done, we noticed that the brief respite in the rain was now over so, not wishing to miss out on more watery fun, we re-donned our sodden attire (except Chris who was apparently still dry) and headed out once again. Here we split into two groups, with half our number heading back towards Reading and home and the remaining six, being made of sterner stuff (and being sad gits with nothing better to do) continuing with the ride as planned. We headed off on the A417 to Wantage and then the A338 through Hungerford to Beacon Hill, through to Grateley and then Stockbridge. To say these roads were a little wet would be something of an understatement but after initially trying to dodge the standing water Baldrick took his GS for a swim and we all then decided to join in, make the most of it and do a bit of surfing instead with some very impressive bow-waves from all present. Damp beyond measure but in high spirits (Baldrick: 'we're enjoying this really'), we headed back to Winchester where the rain finally stopped in time to provide us with a blinding downhill run on the now practically dry Morestead Road. We concluded our ride with a short hop back to Loomies, having covered just shy of 200 miles, where Chris 'I'm still dry' Walliker managed to charm Jane into letting him use the tumble dryer. Feeling rather sorry for our now soaked-to-the-skin leader, Jane extended him the same courtesy ... whereby to the delight of Jane and the other customers Slim promptly stripped to the waist!. After comparing cup sizes with Jane, he then sat half-naked at the table, having treated us all to tea and cakes. We were then joined in the cafe by a nice young lady biker from Southsea who now has a rather interesting idea of what a Sunday ride-out entails!

Thanks to all those that took part and especially to Slim for some fantastic roads and to Baldrick for doing such a splendid job as the team's rear-end.