Sunday 7th August 2011

The Grumbley Run

Six enthusiastic RoSPA riders left Loomies at 09.45 heading off for the Wiltshire and Dorset way.

Gerry Gooch, that's me, was the run leader, leading my 1st RoSPA ride out. I was wondering what I had let myself in for as the group were very much a motley lot tucked up behind me.

The coffee stop at Heale House & Gardens café provided the first opportunity for a grumble as we arrived at 10.58 and not at 11.00 as advertised. Then one certain young lady who shall not be named began objecting that her little Italian 2 stroke was not made for green laning..... Since when is 50 yards in a grassed car park green laning I ask you !!!

Of course there were then the two nails, no not in someone's tyre, but on the moss covered bench where we were meant to sit out in the open air.

Having to help ourselves to the two large cafétiers of strong black coffee that were placed in front of us produced a grumble of, "I suppose that means that we will have to pour our own coffee".

The two offending nails were covered by a certain Ducati Riders helmet with threats to anyone who was tempted to remove it. It was just as well that the rider had taken off his helmet as the chocolate cake that he had ordered for his breakfast would never have fitted through the aperture. Big rider, big bike, big cake! But he never did finish it all.

The departure from the car park was made rather gingerly by some in the group. Whereas the `Green Lane Grumbler` disappeared into the bushes with a stream of smoke marking her progress and then re-appearing from an opening under a large oak tree.

A good pace was made until we caught up with a group of some 8 bikes and 4 cars all following a big white coach doing about 55 on the straight bits. I was having none of this, so the overtakes commenced just as the heavens opened. The hail like rain turned on my VOX instantly as it hit my helmet, so that everyone was getting an ear bashing.

The spray from the coach made overtaking difficult shall we say, but the use of our Advanced Riding skills enabled us each to overtake quite safely. IPSGA, was used to good effect, or rather should I say more, `IA` was more like it. First there were the 8 bikes, no problem, even though the Harley was taking up plenty of road space, then the cars and finally the coach. And then guess what happened. The rain stopped and the road was dry!

When we arrived at the lake the Ferry was nowhere to be seen, so the following 5 riders decided that it was the run leader's responsibility to go first. Bloody cowards I thought. So off I went. Well it was only about 2 feet deep, so there was no real problem, except for yet another young lady who decided that she was not going to get her new boots wet. She just placed her feet on the handlebars, even from her lowered seat, and rode through smiling all over her little face!

We arrived at lunch some 3 minutes late after one member decided to go their own way at the 2nd exit of a roundabout after a marker had been so skillfully placed by the run leader on the 3rd exit.

Lunch was taken with complaints from one young lady about how hard her seat was. Well I said, "If you take the padding out to get your feet on the ground, what do you expect?"

And then there was the gravel. By what was being said you would have thought that the whole route was covered in tons of it, whereas in fact there were just one or two loose stones in the middle of the road here and there. How would they get on riding the Andes in Peru I thought?

As we left our lunch stop at the Lakeside Garden Centre Crockerton near Warminster one lady got left behind with a failing bike. The shouting came over the radio about "I'm stopping" or something or other. Then after a few moments, "Oh it's alright, I forget to turn my petrol on".

A short stop for the Rest Rooms and a soft drink produced from one prospective member a, "I have been gasping for a fag after my lunch for miles". I waited until he had lit up and then set off at high speed. Why don't you drill a hole in your helmet I thought to myself?

So there we were at Loomies at 4.28 just before my scheduled 4.30 arrival. But no one moaned.

It is only me who moans actually.

A great days riding I hope.

Gerry Gooch